On the road again...

It’s 11:45 AM, and my family and I are on our way back to New Orleans from our hotel in Alexandria.

I just have to say the Baymont Hotel is probably one of the best hotels that I have ever stayed.  It was spacious, had a huge bathroom, comfortable beds, a flat screen TV, free wireless Internet. [I sound like an Expedia commercial.] The best part was that I got a whole room to myself, which was especially good because of the late night phone calls I got.

Dinner with my family was nice. Besides my grandparents, I saw mom’s younger brother. His family couldn’t come in for the dinner. I haven’t seen them in maybe 2 years. I also saw my mom’s youngest brother & his family who I haven’t seen in like 5 years. We were at the restaurant for over 3 hours. I think that’s just a little ridiculous. My grandparents were very happy to see everyone in one place and all at once. It was good to see my family, but it was still a little awkward. There were a few quiet moments. For example, my 19-year-old cousin got his girlfriend pregnant last year right around his graduation, and he, his wife, and child were all at the dinner. My family would joke about it, and my brother (he’s 23 and the oldest grandchild) was like “Damn, I always thought I would be the 1^st to have a kid.” My grandmother was like “Nowadays, you have to race to that finish line.” Then, she looks to me and says “You could beat your brother to it,” and I respond with very wide and surprised eyes, “Nuh uh!” I turned away and thought to myself “Haha. If you only knew...” And later, I was responding to a text, and my a couple people noticed. My mom asked, “what are you doing over there?” and my uncle responds, “practicing milking a cow.” My grandmother responds, “you can go buy you some milk from the grocery store” (what a senile response). Then, my uncle (who’s family was not able to come) says something about how all the girls I’m talking too are listed from Y to K on my phone (what the hell?), and he says to reverse it. A KY Jelly joke! Seriously? Wow. He better be glad he’s the cool uncle. Oh, my family… Later during the dinner, my aunt (married to my other uncle) plays the (10 minute) slideshow of pictures throughout my grandparents’ lives and tons of pictures of their children, their grandchildren (just in case you aren’t completely following, that is me, my brother, & cousins), and their great-grandchild. All in all, the night was really nice.

After we checked out of our hotel this morning, we stopped at both sets of my dad’s grandparent’s gravesites. They were in 2 different cemeteries. I learned some family history, which was nice, but we didn’t stay long, which was a little odd to me. I remember visiting the gravesites a LONG time ago, and it took FOREVER. But we stayed maybe 2 minutes. Weird. When we got in the car after visiting the cemeteries, my dad says “Now, let’s get some pie!” Hahaha. My family is so odd.

Last night was a party that I really wanted to go to. I wanted to go SO BAD. Thankfully, I got a couple phone calls, 2 of which were drunk calls. [My computer just told me that the way I used “drunk” is incorrect. It should be “drunken,” but I don’t really care. My grammar checker can suck it!] Those phone calls made me feel really good. I’m glad y’all thought of me while y’all were having fun and getting drunk. I will be there next time. Nothing is going to stop me. But in an odd way, I needed to not go. I needed to see my family. I needed to not go out and get drunk. This just means that next weekend I am going to have a shitload of fun, especially since Friday is Halloween. “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.”

I've decided to make my random youtube video a permanent occurrence for my blog. I might've shown this video to you already, but whatever. You should watch it again. It's awesome! This video convinced me that I have to see Shrek the Musical next time I go to New York (I hope it's soon.). This is the scene from Shrek where Princess Fiona is getting ready to marry Lord Farquaad. This is Sutton Foster singing "More to the Story" from the Seattle previews of Shrek the Musical:

Normalcy

It’s around 1:00 pm, and I’m on the road with my family right now. We are driving to Natchitoches, LA (Google it) for my grandparent’s 50^th anniversary dinner. I think almost everyone on my mom’s side of the family is supposed to be there. If you’ve been following my blog for a while, you might remember that I evacuated to my grandparent’s house for Hurricane Gustav. Now, I haven’t seen the rest of my family in a long time. It’s going to be nice to see them and meet my cousin’s new baby. But in all honesty, I don’t want to go. I know that sounds horrible. I don’t know why, but in my life, my friends rank above my family. Geez, I’m horrible…. but w/e. Back on track. Instead of seeing family I love but don’t see very much, I could be working on my 10-page paper, sleeping, homework, or most importantly hanging out my friends (like Burt & Erika, who came in for the weekend to be with friends, but not many people are in town. They have great timing.).  My point. I don’t want to spend the weekend with my family, which I’m sure most teenagers would feel the same way. Normal. Right?

Maybe it’s because I watched too much TV and too many movies, but since I was little, I wanted to have a “normal” life. I wanted to walk to school. I wanted to be good at sports. I wanted to be “popular” (oh, middle & high school…). I wanted the girl that I liked to like me. I wanted a real neighborhood (not a cul-de-sac) with lots of kids my age to play with. I wanted to live in a house we would always go through the front door, and the back door led to the back yard. And then when I grew up, I wanted to get married and have a couple of kids, and give them the normal life I would’ve had.

Now, I’m not saying that I didn’t like my life. I loved it. I had friends on my street and at school. I mean I wasn’t a complete loser. I just liked theatre. I went to great schools, and I’m fairly smart because of them. My house was beautiful. I had my own room (still do). I wouldn’t be who I am or where I am if it weren’t for the life I was give or for the experiences I have had. As for the future, I still want to find someone, get married, and have kids. Unfortunately, the future is unknown to everyone, so I think it is best to just go with the flow.

Well, I was thinking yesterday. I am not “normal.” Like, at all. I love musical theatre. Pick a random person off the street, and I can almost guarantee that they know almost nothing compared to what I know about Broadway and musical theatre. I don’t know much about other types of music. I don’t socialize well with people who aren’t somewhat associated with some type of music, dance, or theater. Some might think this weird or bad, but I totally love it. It’s who I am. Why would I want to change? I said this in the last paragraph, but I just want to say it again. I wouldn’t be who I am or where I am if it weren’t for the life I was give or for the experiences I have had. I have no regrets. I may not be “normal,” and I can almost guarantee that I will not be “normal” in the future. But you know what? I don’t want to change. I like where I am. I like who I am.

I’m going to end with this: What is “normal?” What makes someone or something normal? Why do I (and probably some other people) want to be normal? What’s the fun in being average and normal when you can be different and stand out in the world?

Here: my random video for the blog:

Random thoughts from this weekend

Here are some random thoughts I have had this weekend that I wanted to write down:

- "Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist" is an awesome movie. It's one of the classic stories with a modern twist. Usually they turn out bad, but this one turned out really well.

- I want to see the "Sex and the City" movie. A preview from "Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist" reminded me. Plus, I want to see Annaleigh Ashford as the label queen for those like 6 seconds.

- I don't like talking to my parents about anything important. It's just awkward. I feel the disappointment rush over me when I try to be honest with them. I'm tired of being the good (fake) Councilman's son. That's not me. I'm different. I can't be what you want me to be. I'm gonna be me. This is one of the reasons why I don't call you or why we don't ever talk or hang out ever.

- Why does a person want something else when what they have is almost perfect for them? Why must they want that something else?

-I really hate my ringtones. I need to buy some new ones.

- I like to watch the "Tomb Raider" and "The Mummy" movies over and over again. I'm not sure why, but I love it.

Random video:

I'm not big on politics, but this is hilarious. This is Leslie Kritzer. She's an amazing singer. Look her up.

Surprise!

[This blog took me a while to write. I was very ADD this week.]

Sunday, I had just got back from hanging out at home, and I was cleaning my dorm in the silence. Soon after, I turned my ipod on. I don't like the quiet, unless I'm asleep. A quiet room feels weird. During the silence, I started thinking. No, not the bad, depressing type of thinking. I was thinking about how much I have changed since I graduated. 

I've really surprised myself. I'm a lot freer now. I'm more comfortable with myself.  I feel like I am being me. I've made a new circle of friends that I talk to almost daily. (I have not forgotten my BMHS circle. I miss and love you guys!) Also, I'm closer with friends that I barely hung out with before. It's crazy. I thought that I would only be friends with Loyola people once I started college, but I love that I'm still good friends with my friends who are still in high school. But also, a lot of this feeling has come from this weekend. I finally went and drank at a bar for the first time, which I was kind of nervous about. Idk why, but I was. To sum up that night in general: It was a great night. That's all I'm gonna say.

So I just finished my midterms. They weren't too bad. I actually only had 2. The Into to music industry midterm most of the class failed. I'm not too worried about the grade because there is supposed to be a grade curve. My music theory midterm was separated into 2 parts. The first part was a musicianship exam. This I was worried about. I'm not exactly sure why. I know this stuff. I was fine until about 5 minutes before I had to go in. I was going over some info, and I totally blanked. That's when I started to freak out. Thankfully, Andy walked by and distracted me. Thank you Andy. I needed that. That half of the midterm went fairly well. The second half of the midterm was a timed written test. I  knew what I was doing most of the time. The time kind of killed me. Whatever. I did what I could. I just hope it is good enough to get a good grade.

On to the fun stuff: I finally got a TV for my dorm today(Thursday)!! I had to rearrange some of the stuff in my room. The whole combination of things makes my room a lot more comfortable. I might actually have people come hang out now.

Also, today I have MTO rehearsal for the Avenue Q section of our Recital Hour performance. I'm excited because I get to be Princeton in "Everyone's a Little Bit Racist" and "I wish I Could Go Back to College." Yay!

In general, I'm happy with life right now.

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I know I'm a little late, but let's take a moment of silence for the closing of [Title of Show] on Broadway.

You wrote an original musical. You became more than just 9 people's favorite thing. You made it to Broadway! You did the impossible! Snaps to you! We'll miss you!!

The greatest thing...

I was just watching Moulin Rouge. I know that sounds really gay, but I don't care. I love that movie.

So, there are 2 things that really get me in this movie:

1. El Tango de Roxanne.

 

That scene is so powerful, so intense. You can feel the emotion cross the TV screen and smack you in the face. At least, that's the way it is for me. The vocals by Ewan McGregor are freaking amazing. Plus, the choreography and dancing are outstanding!!

2. The scene of Satine's death. 

This scene is one of the few that has ever gotten me emotionally. The last time I watched it I full out cried. I am not a crier. Seriously, I think I have cried maybe 4 times in the past 5 years.

So crying to a movie is huge for me. Not one of my friends has ever made me cry. One broke the seal that was holding me back from crying, but none ever made me cry for any real reason.

Yes, I realize this is a movie, and it is not REALLY real. But even fiction has to come from somewhere. This world is huge. Somewhere out there is a scene like this going on. Not the whole fact that she is a hooker and he is a writer, and the play/musical/show mirrors the story of their love. Just someone losing someone they love unconditionally. It probably happens everyday. This is probably why it touches the soul.

This scene really puts things into perspective for me. Like for 1 brief moment, they were completely happy. Then, the curtain closed, and then Satine's life began to drift away. Compared to death and the loss of love, my problems seem so small. I know I have complained about not having that someone who will love me for me, etc. I can't expect to have that person now. I'm 18! I have barely begun really living life.

While Satine is dying, the crowd on the other side of the curtain is still cheering, and beyond that, the rest of the world is continuing on with their lives. But at the same time the world has darkened and slowed in mourning. It really puts into perspective how small our lives are compared to the world as a whole, but at the same time for OUR world inside the world, we are HUGE. We affect everything and everyone around us. We are a major factor in the lives of others that are around us and who are close to us. Don't take that for granted.

In her last few moments, Satine was able to tell Christian he should go on and tell the story of their love, she will always be with him, and that most of all she loved him. He does this, and writes about the "love that will live forever." That is the most touching moment I ever witnessed. Yes, I know it is just a movie. But I think that this is what (almost) everyone wants: someone to love and to love them through all of the struggles ("Come What May"), through death, and live on forever. I know it won't happen soon, but I hope one day I will have a love like that. A true, honest, kind love that is meant to be, with no major flaws (everything has it's problems), and will continue through the struggles, through death, and continue on into forever.

"The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return."

I just felt like it

Again, I just felt the urge to blog:

Long day today, but it wasn't bad. Voice Lab got canceled, so I actually got to eat lunch today. My piano test went well, probably because I had the whole class time to practice for it and 10 minutes after class to wait to take it. I didn't have to present in my Intro to Music Industry Studies class, but I have a midterm and part of a project due Wednesday (Shit. I'm gonna fail, but whatever). I'm so glad I skipped my Music Industry Forum to go to MTO RENT rehearsals. It was needed. We got lots of stuff done.  I think it will be good, so come see it!

Random change of topic: I am apparently getting skinnier. I'm not really complaining, but I've had a few people point it out recently. My mom tells me that every once in a while, but that's what moms do. My voice teacher points it out (somewhat derogatorily) at every lesson. I guess in his mind you have to be kind of fat to be a good/proper singer. But not until recent had I really thought anything about it. I have these jeans that I got for Christmas (2 years ago?) from my cousin, and they were kinda tight so I didn't wear them that often. I tried them on today to see if I would want to wear them for my RENT performance. And to my surprise they are loose like my regular jeans. I know a lot of people strive to have this problem, but for some reason, it makes me a little self-conscious. This is so weird. This could not have happened since August. I mean, I thought was supposed to avoid the freshman 15, not lose 15 as a freshman (which I haven't, just for the record). So let me say this once: I am not anorexic, bulimic, or have any type of eating disorder. I'm just small.

I don't exactly know why I just went on a tangent about that, it's just been bugging me a little.

warning: turn away now

I felt the need to blog again. I'm not in the best mood, so if you don't want to read something that might bring you down, stop reading now. 

I'm feeling weird today. I think part of it is because I am getting sick. Not fun. I don't know why, but I'm feeling emotionally vulnerable today (It may be because I saw RENT today, which was damn good, with some exceptions). It's so weird. I'm not sure I like it.

Shit. I have a lot to do. I have a crap-load of homework and things to do for tomorrow: turn in a form and take notes for World Religions, intervals to study for Music Theory, a test in Piano, a presentation in Music Industry, and figure out costumes for MTO's "A Tribute to RENT" (see my previous blog for info) for our dress rehearsal. This is all for tomorrow. In addition to this, I have 3 other classes tomorrow (8 total. I'm skipping my last class. It's pointless.), something to do for Music Industry for Wednesday (I'm not sure what, though), and I have to get together with some people to go over songs and blocking for our RENT-thing. Chyea... that's a lot.

Have you ever been happy about something one day and not be the next day? It's weird. I don't understand it. But for some reason unknown to me, we all go through it.

I drank twice this weekend. I don't think it was a good idea. The 1st time was fine, but the 2nd was not good. I was a mess. [Note to self: no more vodka shots (aka Opah!'s with Rachel).] So because of this weekend's event's, I've decided I cannot get drink more than once a weekend, and when I do drink, I have to take my time. I will not go overboard again.

This is such a weird blog. I blame my mood. If only I could explain it....

I warned you.

I felt the need...

I felt the need to blog because I don't get to blog very much anymore. I think I've only been blogging on the weekends. I blame school for that.

College. Recently, people have been asking, "How's college?" Honestly, I don't really know. I feel like I'm too worried about going to classes, doing homework, and practicing that I don't really have a chance to really enjoy college. In between the things that I listed above, I sleep, eat, and go to Loyola's MTO (Musical Theater Organization) rehearsal.  I don't really feel like I'm soaking it all in. The one time I really feel like I just get to hang out and be myself and feel like I'm really in college is in one of my Monday classes where we don't do anything, thank you Mr. Dreux. I know this sounds like I'm complaining, but surprisingly, I'm not. I'm happy with my life. I know. What a 180 degree turn. Idk. It brings me back to high school when I was in a show. I was busy with everything I was doing, and I had like 4 groups of friends (Sadly, I don't have that many close friends anymore, but hey. It's a part of life). The fact that I was so busy with things and craving refuge from my stress by being with people I love kept me alive. No, I am not talking about suicide (I'm not like that). I am talking metaphorically.  It's like an electrifying jolt. It feels so good. 

Does that make any sense? Whatever. If it doesn't and you really want to know, I'll explain it to you in person.

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Oh! Here's my plug for this blog:

You all should come see Loyola's MTO's performance of "A Tribute to RENT" on Wednesday, October 8th at 8pm in Satchamo's (the Underground of the Dana Center). It features some of your favorite people you probably know: ME (Jody Hinkley), Blythe Reed, Casi Landix, Jordan Queen, Rachel deJonge, Dody Nolan, and some others new to New Orleans musical theater community. We are doing some of the songs we have all know and love. It's free, but if you would like to donate money, go right ahead. :-D

So come support Loyola's MTO!!