Weird title, huh? When I say "the end," I don't mean the end of life, a.k.a. "death." What I mean is the end of this era. The era of high school and adolescence.
It's the middle of July the summer before I start college. Scary thought: growing up, take care of yourself, rely upon yourself, be responsible, the future. I don't know if I am ready for that. How do you prepare for something that major? Like for example, my parents asked me last summer, "Jody, what do you want to do with your life? What do you want to be when you grow up?" I had no idea what-so-freaking-ever No one had asked me that question since middle school. Why didn't you ask me this early while I was spending my free time busying myself with extra-curricular activities rather than think about the future? My friends and I talked our future plans for the first time ever, and apparently, everyone except me and one other person knew what they wanted to do. When the hell did that happen? When did Zach decide he wanted to work for the Hornets or Saints? How did Nick, Erika, and Broc decide they wanted to be doctors? How and when did Burt decide he wanted to be a dentist? (That was so random and out of the blue). How does one person decide on one thing that they want to do for the rest of their life? Do you pick it out of a hat? Then once you come to a decision, how do you know it's the right decision for you? How do you know you won't get tired of it after 5 years or so?
Fast forward to to college. It's a new beginning. You are there alone (I'm assuming). You have to make new friends, and you have to get used to classes, homework, the amount of free time. How do you prevent yourself from cracking under the pressure?
Another thing that scares me is the fact that I don't want the life I have before I go to college to end. It was great. I had loads of fun times. Why should I have to get rid of it? I have this feeling that once college starts and we all go our separate ways, we will make new friends and forget about the life we had before college. It has happened before, like when we went from elementary school to high school. I don't really talk to many friends I had way back then. Almost everyone I consider my close friends from school are going out of state to go to college. The only exceptions are Nick, who will be at LSU and and an hour away from me, and Ian who will be on the campus next door to me, but I doubt I will see him much anyway. Also, Dani and Kyle will be about 3 hours away at ULL, but at least Bylthe will be with me at Loyola. She'll probably be sleeping on the floor of my dorm in between classes. So, while everyone is going their separate ways, I will be home in New Orleans. Compared to every one else, I feel like I am going no where in life. For example, compared to a friend who is moving to Chicago or a certain someone who is moving to New York City. For some reason I feel that moving away is a reflection of future success. Why that is? I have no idea.
Well, here's a toast to the end of an era! And a toast to the future and the mysteries that it holds!
Anything after this point has nothing to do with anything written above:
Courtney is not a mess, even though we both cannot give a definition of a mess. Dictionary. com says it's "a person whose life or affairs are in a state of confusion." Therefore, she is not a mess. At least she is not in my book (or blog).
Also, Jamie is "a wonderful and special person!" Her words. No, but really. She's cool.
No comments:
Post a Comment