Ironically enough, here's what I actually want to talk about:
Drama has been stirring for about a week now, and I am just freaking tired of it. So here is my venting session for the day: I understand why the drama isn't going away, but most people don't want to talk about it. The only exception is one person. I understand why you are keeping this shit alive. I feel for you, I really do. I even tried to help you. I was trying to be supportive. It obviously hasn't helped you. Then you go get drunk & high (let me tell you again, that was fucking stupid). We get mad at you, and you overreact and threaten your life. People call you to make sure you are ok, and the next day while you think about it, the fact that they called you (multiple times) makes you MAD?!?! WHAT THE FUCK?! I believe you had over 20 missed calls and at least 10 texts. That means they care about you!! They care because they love you, not JUST because you threaten to kill yourself. They want to make sure you are ok. That love for you just doesn't go away that fast. They are mad. I don't know if you know this, but people are allowed to get mad sometimes, and you have no say in how people feel about something. I think that most of us who called are hoping things will eventually work out and we'll be good friends again.
A little time goes by, and you decide you want to come home and just hang with everyone. Are you kidding me? You didn't actually talk to the people you wanted to hang out with. You called them, but they aren't ready to talk to you. So you think coming in to hang with them is still a good idea? I tell you this, and you make me feel guilty for telling you what I think about the situation. The next day I want hang out with my friends (who you just happen to be mad at), and you get angry, again. You think we planned this so we could hang out without you and make you mad again? Seriously. Think about that one.
Seriously. Take a step back and tell me you are not overreacting.
I'm with Blythe right now, and she want's to add something. Here it is:
Just to start off, "you care because you have to" is bull shit. Of course, calling, worrying, and wondering if you're ok is definitely NOT being a friend. But seriously, that's what friends do; they care. You are completely ignoring the fact that all of us were freaking out, and you were just thinking about yourself and how sad you were when we were just trying to get in touch with you. I support Jody when he said we called and texted you so much. It is not only your problem. It's ours too because somehow we always get involved with your problems. It's probably because we are YOUR FRIENDS, but i just have to say that we are not therapists. Suicidal threats? really? ARE YOU TRYING TO GIVE ME A FUCKING HEART ATTACK. COME ON!! You can't just scare me like that. If you are making threats like that you need to see a professional. Because if you think thats normal, it's not.
Remember when you told everyone "you screwed up"? Well, look what you've done. YOU SCREWED UP! How does it feel? I don't know how to make you realize how serious this is. Drinking and drugs are not a good combination, even for this situation. Oh, and we all know that "i guess i wanted to" shit is not the reason you did it. Don't waste my time by going around the fact. Be straight forward and confront the issue like you always say. Try taking your own advice.
Don't make this a drama-fest, because it isn't. You have no idea how much you mean to us. I am saying all of this because I love you, and you mean a lot to me.
It's Jody again.
Well, since I've written this about 3 hours ago, you said you figured out what you're gonna do. Whatever it is, I hope it works out for you. As for what I've written, I know it's a bit biting, but I hope you see what things are like from the outside, see how it feels to be stuck in the middle. I didn't write this with the purpose to hurt you, but to inform you. I hope you read this and have some kind of realization. It's all in love. It's true, even if you choose not to believe it.
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